Life sucks. In so many ways, it fvcking sucks.
My mind is all over. It’s messy and ugly. My life sucks.

Positivity is overrated. Fvck positivity.
I live in madness. It never settles — jumping around between fear, jealousy, worries, sadness, madness.
I don’t even know why I should live, or what the point of life is.

Life sucks.
Though, generally, I am happy living in it.
Well, what else can I do if being happy is the only choice of living?!
Sadness tangles inside my happiness — life is about both.
I don’t know if I’m making sense, but with my sadness, joy and happiness are always around.

I am living in loneliness.
True, it’s sometimes tiring, but most of the time, it suits me — I am designed to be alone.
After all, we are only living with ourselves.
In the end, only me.

It is not the loneliness.
It is not about being unhappy.

But I keep searching.
I keep looking for something I don’t know.
I’m messed up. My mind fvcks me in so many ways.

Life sucks, but maybe I’m just lucky that I got the help I needed — a quick fix.
I really feel grateful that I got a cheating sheet, so I don’t have to suffer any longer in a long and miserable path.
Oh, I don’t even know what I’m talking about — it’s just simply gratitude.

My life still sucks.
My mind still fvcks me.
But I got my help — to find things I still don’t know: where life started, and where it’s going to end.
And when I look at it again — all the tears and madness that led to this day, to this moment — maybe life is not that bad.

A journey has begun.
It started unconsciously. It will continue consciously.

Quiet Gratitude.

To A — thank you for opening the door.